Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Fan fiction of a dream of a red chamber----if they never left

the fanfic by tingting

She is holding a red bag with some golden flowers that are made of silks. She is going to bury these dead flowers that are from ground she picked. In her face, there is a sad tears falling from her eyes and it goes into soil. Why the tear is sad because she is always sad. No one can tell why DaiYu would cry for those dead flowers and no one can think of why she is a such pure girl just like a piece of snow. She doesn’t fit anything in the world.  She is made of jade. That’s why she watches things very differently. People in her family think she worrys about everything too much. The only one she cares of is BaoYu. She knows him well and she knows in that big family BaoYu is the only one who thinks of her and always watches things from DaiYu’s point.
Daiyu is too weak to get cold after she was standing in the wind to burry those flowers. She is sick and being a coma. Bayu is so worry of her and spends most times sit by her and keeps her in his eyes. After 2 days, she wakes up, however she is not she was. The person in her body is coming from century 21, from a girl who is lying in hospital because of a car accident. In the 21century, the girl is named Hua. She dose not know whats going and where she is while she wakes up by using Daiyus body, but when Baoyu calls her Daiyu, are you okay. “……you are? Where am I? My silly girl, you are in your home, I am your……”Baoyu is hesitation. your boyfriend! He says it finally. Daiyu , oh not Daiyu, is Hua now, she gets some ideas about her identity and what year she is in now. She slowly accepts the truth which she past through from century 21 and she in Daiyus body although she has her own mind. Its like a hermit crab that using the shell to keeping living although that is not she wants. Since she is getting well, she knows what the situation is now. From the book, she knows the story between Baoyu and Daiyu is a tragedy. if I could not go back to the century that I belong to , why could not I help them being together happily ever after. I can change the history!she thinks. In the after days, she starts getting into the character she is being.
In the history, Daiyu does not know how to keep her happiness and thats the reason they both could not have a good ending. Hua really wants to have a try of making thing be different. As she is thinking of how to make Daiyu and Baoyu being closer and not making anyone doubt of her. Normally, Daiyu is too shy to give a reply to Baoyu just because she is a girl. Once Hua decides to do one thing she will have 100% confidence to finish it. She starts to do a little movement as she thinks. She is initiative talks to Baoyu, she shows how much she cares of Baoyu gradually and she does what Baoyu likes. Everyone could feel what she does for him even a stone.     
Now the chance is coming…….
Baoyu is asked to be married as soon as possible. As the history goes, Baoyu will marry to another girl because Daiyu is too shy to say yeas and she will be sick because of Bauyus marriages  until she die. Obviously that is not Hua is willing to see specially she is Daiyu now. In her mind, she is ready to say yes and spend rest of her life with Baoyu. In the first, she just wants the real Daiyu has a happy life with Baoyu, however after the days she spent with Baoyu she couldnt control herself fall in love with him. He is a man with good manners and a good heart. He is man whom could not be seen in century 21. He thinks women are water which is clean, gentle and need to be protected. He really cares of Daiyu. He not only sees her as a princess but also reads her as worth book. That is not general.
The day arrives finally, Baoyu has prepared to propose to Daiyu. In his face, there is a piece of sunshine that nothing can hide. He could propose earlier but he is waiting his girl be into him so much. He wont propose until he is 100% sure he could catch her heart by one shot. In the big yard, he is asking Daiyu to be his wife with a bouquet of jasmine that because is the first impression Daiyu gives to him. Unexpectedly, Hua dosent say yes, she says Do you know what you forget to say to me, thats so important for a woman, it is like an oath for a woman. It dosent ring bell for Baoyu. Can you give me a hint? yeah, three words, eight letters, say it and I am yours.says Daiyu. oh, now I get it, I love you, my silly girl. I would say yes for all your question. I do! my dear.
Now, we all can I image what is the ending, they two will live happily ever after like all the fairy tale.        

5 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. Hi Tingting,

    Aw, this is such a sweet story! It has a very good plot, and you have done well using descriptive language. I especially like, "Everyone could feel what she does for him even the stone." Very well done!

    You have a few grammatical errors throughout the story. If it was possible to correct these, your story would be even more amazing! English can be a very difficult language for grammar. Many first language-English speakers find it extremely difficult, not to mention those to whom English is not their first language!

    Just one more thing, possibly for the ending, you don't need the last sentence. The end of the dialogue between Daiyu and Baoyu ends the story quite well, and leaves it open to add to if you decide to later. This is only an idea!!

    Your fanfic makes me want to read a sequel!

    I really loved it Tingting! Good job!

    Kelly :):)

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  3. I think this is a really beautiful piece of writing. It is written very poetically and i enjoyed the plot. When i read i feel kind of as if i am floating along some where :)

    As Kelly has said there are ofcourse the few grammatical errors but they can be easily fixed. maybe proof over it and then get a friend to proof it for you and then us again :) Be careful when you are talking of the century 21 or 21 century. It would be best if you write them on the same order to keep the flow going and also to make the sentences more understandable.

    Great Job though. Keep up this story! Can't wait to read more from you Ting Ting :P

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  4. Hey Ting-ting!

    Your story is really beautiful. I love the descriptions at the begining and i like how you use present tense.

    There are some gramatical errors but yeah I agree with kelly that even we as english speaker can get things wrong too. Also the layout of the wrtiting is not very easy to read, if you broke it up into paragraphs that would help a lot.

    But over all a really lovely piece of fan fiction!

    Emma :)

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  5. I am so happy that u guys like it, I have to say my grammar in the story was bad, however I just don't know how to fix it. thank you for your suggestions.

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